Walking down the long dark street…
The shy moon looming over
Behind scattered gray shadows
Watching over the world…
Over us poor souls
Lost in the cold universe
My ragged breath
Stained the icy air
With sallow swirling ghosts
Dissolving into nothingness
My eyes suddenly fall…
On two beating hearts
A boy and his girl
Walking slowly before me
Holding hands
Smiling those hopeful smiles
Looking into each others eyes
The kind of look that can say
What a tongue can never do
They seemed gleaming
Tearing all gathering darkness
Warmth filled me
All gloom vanished
The power of innocent love
Drove the coldness out
I passed them swiftly
The lump in my throat growing
Solitude mounting
With every step away
A watery something slid
Down my face
And fell to the long dark street
With the tiniest splash
No one could hear
©2005-2009 ~TheSoleEmulator
Details
Submitted: August 26, 2005
File Size: 1.1 KB
Image Size: 35.5 KB
Resolution: 574×400
Comments: 37
Favourites & Collections: 26 [who?]
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Submitted: August 26, 2005
File Size: 1.1 KB
Image Size: 35.5 KB
Resolution: 574×400
Comments: 37
Favourites & Collections: 26 [who?]
Views
Total: 677
Today: 0
Downloads
Total: 101
Today: 0
Thumb
Author's Comments
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Devious Comments
Comments
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I love it. Fantastic poetry.
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"Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future.
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures." ~Postal Service
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The tense sort of confused me in the beginning, however. You don't specifically give the first stanza a tense, but perhaps it is just the word "walking" that makes the reader seem that they are in the present. Despite that, there isn't much to say about it, because, well, emotional poems usually shouldn't be critiqued for the simple fact that they are based on emotion and changing things might take away from the raw emotion behind the words, and also because this is just damn good poetry right here.
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Another bright idea from the think tank. Why don't you both come up here; leave the prisoner by herself. We'll put her on the honor system, make her guard herself.
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Children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day.
Put more laughter in your day!
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>^. .^<
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